What, with disease, malnutrition and extreme poverty, there weren't already enough problems in Africa? Introducing: Chemi-Cola - The Healthy Alternative. Of course, with poverty comes products like this; with products like this come malnutrition and disease. Open up and say ah - like Mufasa said, it's all one big circle of life.It turns out Chemi-Cola is much like an ultra-concentrated beverage similar to Ribena (and comes in a thermonuclear orange-coloured mango flavour, too), but still. As it was, I thought the ubiquitousness of Coca-Cola in Kenya and Tanzania was something to behold. Though I can't imagine this product is highly exportable, methinks the folks behind it might want to invest in some English lessons if they're going to name the product in this language. Or maybe go back to Chernobyl.
Then again, if Chemi-Cola isn't to your personal tastes and you find you're getting insufficient fuel into your body from, well, you know, meats, fruits, grains and vegetables, you can simply turn to the can. Sweet! I suppose it beats the bottle. The solution to everything: chemicals!Sure, glucose is an important simple sugar for providing energy. Sure, too, we absorb far too much sugar in North America, but come on sweetheart, most of us don't just scoop it out of a can in its pure form. Without the lollipop, where's the fun? Walking through one of the grocery stores in Mwanza, we came across row upon row of canned glucose. Packed by Excel Chemicals Ltd. Enough said? Nope. I had to cringe when I read the instructions for feeding the product to babies. Um, yike?
These jolly little signs, pasted throughout Mwanza, however, I got a kick out of. I couldn't stop imagining Homer Simpson, walking along the street, mouth agape, drooling and saying "Mmm, fatty pork products".What a great way to start the day - I can't think of a better breakfast food than a happy one (Happy Meal, anyone?). I'm not so sure the pigs would be super pleased at the prospect of hitting the links, but the company, bringing home the bacon in Arusha, Tanzania, describes its 'special strength' as being the "Sole (fish sausage, too?) modern meat processor and sausage producer in the Northern Tanzania Tourist Circuit with well established infrastructure capable of producing export (ex-pork?) quality products". With a pair of eggs (wouldn't want to make a pig of myself), sunny-side up, please.
