Monday, April 21, 2008

H2No.

I saw this ad in a magazine and thought, shouldn't it really read: "An overly caffeinated world doesn't need caffeinated water"? We've already got chocolate, tea, coffee, soda, etc.; why the need for 'invigorated' water? Is there such thing as "sensibly caffeinated" agua? Really, I've seen enough people get bent out of shape over having fluoride flow through our taps, but an addictive substance like caffeine is okay?

I can only imagine people in the developing world seeing a product like this (as, in many places, they scoop their refreshment out of muddy puddles and polluted streams) and shaking their heads at the consumerism and overall pretentiousness of such a product. Maybe it's just me.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Car(te) Blanche.

Read this fun little feature from the Canadian Automobile Association (CAA) magazine about odd road rules (no, not the ridiculous 'reality t.v.' show) from around the world and felt the need to share. Not that we don't, of course, have our own idi-road-snycracies right here at home, but...
  • Many of Bangkok's one-way roads change their direction at certain hours of the day. (Intoxicated drivers and tourists on mopeds, beware.)
  • In traffic-heavy Manila, vehicles with licence plates ending with the numbers 1 or 2 are forbidden from operating on city roads on Mondays between the hours of 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. (One is the loneliest number. Well, other than two, I guess.)
  • Taxi drivers in Finland must pay royalty fees to the Finnish Copyright Society if they play music in their cars while transporting paying customers (which has, not surprisingly, led to the runaway success of the Finnish talk show programme, 'Herring on the Side of Caution').
  • It is illegal to park on the side of the road almost everywhere in Japan (which is likely wise; have you seen how many people live there? Yes, 127.4 million).
  • Taxis in Australia must carry a bale of hay in the trunk. (For the lambs, scurrying alongside the road? Hmm, I guess that'd be more in New Zealand; maybe it's to transport wounded wallabies?)
  • In Switzerland, washing your car on Sunday is frowned upon. (Isn't everything? You'd think they'd be more neutral than that.)
  • South Korean drivers cannot turn left except at certain intersections where indicated (Um, isn't that being a little leftist?)
  • In the UK, it is legal for a male to urinate in public, provided it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. (The Brits, too: the discrimination against left continues, unabated.)
  • Rental cars have been banned in order to control road traffic in Bermuda. (Not like there are tourists in Bermuda or anything. Line up right here to be gouged by a taxi driver.)
  • In certain areas of Shanghai, it is illegal for drivers to honk their horns. (Ironically, not in residential areas?)

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Hamburgler's Makeover.

No, really, whatever happened to Hamburgler? Or that bloated purple jube jube named Grimace?

I recognize I'm a little behind the times here as it has already been a couple years since McDonald's decided to overhaul its image, but as someone who very, very rarely frequents fast food establishments, I only saw for the first time today its new, grown-up look. Earth tones? Brushed steel? Leather upholstery? Flat screen televisions?

Whatever happened to the garish orange, browns and yellows that were supposed to tease your psyche into feeling hungry for greasy, mass-produced food? The moulded plastic seats that would stick to your legs on hot summer's days? The ball pits with unmentionable things crawling through them in search of wayward french fries? The plastic bibs with LSD trip-induced cartoons on them?

In some ways, I can see the company needing to adapt as demographics age, but this was one of the world's most iconic and established brands. An update, I can see, but the complete overhaul surprised me somewhat. And to make restaurateurs themselves absorb the costs of renovating ($300,000-$400,000) and destroying all that's been built up over 40 years of branding seems just criminal.

With an increased concern about issues related to obesity - and with its reputation for contributing to them - it almost looks to me as though McDonald's is trying to disguise the wolf in sheep's clothing. One thing certainly hasn't changed: I still felt nauseous when I left.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Neither Jeep, Nor Jeans.

I can just picture the successful applicants now, running through fields of posies with tiny lassos, accompanied by a soundtrack of Puccini.

"I'm going to wrangle myself a blue one!" Wranglers? Really? I can't imagine the silken-winged critters putting up much of a fight as they flutter by. Of course, curious to see how common the term "Butterfly Wrangler" is, I punched it into Google. 38 hits.

Needless to say, I chuckled when I saw the sign while walking through the Biology & Geology building this morning. As advertising goes, it worked. I felt this was a position that should be added to the list of cool jobs on campus that sound comical, which also includes a bug chef for one of the larger research facilities (one who makes food for insects, not out of them).

It also reminded me of the all-time classic cat-herding commercial:


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

A Severed Connection.

Appropriate enough, I guess, given that the "Mix Fruit Bowl" likely consists of sliced fruit, but I got a chuckle of it being described as "Severed" with Strawberry, Orange, and Apple." Certainly, a cut above.

Yes, small things entertain me. I was also even mildly amused by the menu's inconsistent re-ordering of its ham, bacon or sausage options. In each different dish, it is as though a different pork product demanded top billing.

The fruit cup wasn't the only time the term "severed" came to mind on the weekend, either. At one point, looking across the street, I told the person I was with: "There's a homeless guy with a saw over there." "Yeah right," came the reply.

Then the scruffy man with several dark hoodies, tinted glasses and hat pulled low climbed through the broken slats in the fence, wandering along other people's backyards - with a long hand saw poking out like a pirate's hook. The only thing more jagged than the teeth on the saw were the ones in his mouth. It was a moment straight out of a cheese ball horror movie script - craziest thing I ever saw (yuck, yuck).

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

No Ordinary Joe.

So long to a Second Cup of Tim Horton's Starbucks, even if it is Seattle's Best?

If you find yourself around King and Sherbourne in Toronto, you may indeed find yourself having a mug of creamy caffeination that would make the street corner-hogging, hyper barista-flogging chain locales become 'has-beans'. Bisogno, now that's a coffee.

With an antique dining room table around which to sit and a couple of plush couches, this hip little spot makes for a nice place to enjoy a mighty fine cup of coffee - even if it did take nearly a half-hour to have it made (but really, when was the last time your venti, one-and-a-half shot, half-sweet, no-foam macchiatto came with a heart on top?)

What the sign said was true: with coffee and ambiance like that, it's not going to need much advertising.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Shake a Fist at the Devil.

In some ways, a little late perhaps, but with retired Lieutenant General Romeo Dallaire - who was responsible for the United Nations mission to Rwanda during the 1994 genocide - speaking to local audiences a couple of weeks ago and current Rwandan Ambassador to Canada, Edda Mukabagwiza, in town yesterday, Rwanda has been a hot topic around here recently.

Dallaire spoke of his experiences and frustrations in Rwanda, and of the lack of international support for the UN mission. He also tried to motivate young people to effectuate change and to make a difference in this world of 'haves' and 'have nots'. While certainly not without his faults - as if any of us are - he is an inspiring man dealing with very important issues. I simply cannot imagine having walked in his shoes. As frustrating as things in life can sometimes be, they can always be worse. This is a man who had to move dead bodies off the road in order to drive through the streets. I tell myself daily that however ridiculous some of life's challenges are, I'm not having to deal with that. It's amazing how simple life can sometimes be: if you have the love of family and friends and are blessed with skills, health and opportunity, little else is really significant.

During her public address, Mukabagwiza told nearly 200 people, “When people think of Rwanda, they think of genocide. We would like to change this image." She spoke of her country’s efforts to rebuild following the 1994 genocide, and its attempts to bring perpetrators to justice – something she was tasked with in her role as Justice Minister.

Pointing out that only 6,000 files were closed in the five years following the genocide, Mukabagwiza said classical justice was not enough: with more than 120,000 suspected perpetrators, it would have taken more than a century to prosecute everyone. Instead, Rwanda combined classical forms of justice with a traditional, community-based ‘Gacaca’ court structure. The system uses “wise people used as judges elected by the community so that people can trust the judgments they are going to make,” Mukabagwiza told the audience. “We can get reconciliation more quickly than with traditional justice.”

Depending on the purported offence, suspects are divided into one of four categories. The first, tried in national criminal courts, is dedicated to those accused of planning, organizing and leading the genocide, or suspected of carrying-out sexual crimes. The second and third are reserved for those alleged to have been involved in committing physical attacks, the former resulting in death. The fourth category is for those suspected of committing crimes against property, like theft and looting. These last three categories are tried in community Gacaca courts.

Due in large part to incidences of intimidation and violence directed toward witnesses, the concept of community justice is not without its critics. “The genocide was still there, but we had people who weren’t prepared to accept responsibility,” Mukabagwiza said. Perpetrators were encouraged to plead guilty to lesser sentences, often resulting in community service as punishment. Rwanda has also recently abolished the death penalty. Asked how fair it is to have murderers punished so leniently, Mukabagwiza replied: “It’s a step of reconciliation, of managing the situation – no matter what, it’s not going to be fair, but we had to face it as a country if we wanted to heal.”

This system has also helped in the reconciliation process by involving the families of both the perpetrator and the victim, as well as the communities into which offenders are being reintegrated. “The Gacaca process helps end suspicions and rumours,” Mukabagwiza said. “It wasn’t easy to put people together and have them trust. We need to know what happened so that we can reconciliate with people.”

Mukabagwiza spoke highly of the country’s progress in the decade since the genocide, saying Rwanda has managed well, developed strong business and legal structures and repositioned its tourism assets. “The country is now viewed as the most secure in the region,” she added, pointing out low rates of crime and corruption. She also added that 48.8 per cent of Rwanda’s parliamentary representatives are women – among the highest in the world

"Our goal has been to rid of the impression of impunity and to provide penalties that allow people to amend themselves and reintegrate into society," Mukabagwiza added. "The image of Rwanda is changing."