Spam. Which is, Strangely, Not Spam.

Though I tend to stalk my inbox mercilessly throughout the night (some might say like an undernourished hyena), it's certainly not atypical for me to arrive at work in the morning facing a deluge of email. As with most information and communications with which we are bombarded throughout our daily existence, some of it is useful, much of it is not and the rest tends to conjure indifference, annoyance or amusement. I prefer the latter.

Every once in a while, the little envelope icon on my screen contains a nugget. Today provided one such instance. First, I pondered whether or not it was spam -- hm, no promises of enhancement, weight loss or lottery winnings. Darn, could have killed three birds with one stone. And in time for Valentine's day, too. Second, I questioned if it was a joke or not. Nope, the company's legit and I didn't hear any snickers down the hall (for a change).

The University of Western Ontario considers itself -- quite justifiably, I believe -- to be one of Canada's top research-intensive universities. It's known around the world for pioneering work in a number of disciplines. And then, in comes the following request for research collaboration. Yes, I've removed all identifying information to protect the innocent. And anyone else.

On behalf of our client, X, I am contacting you today to determine who the best department or person to contact in order to conduct a study to explore the social implications of different hair colours, lengths and styles. Do blondes really have more fun? Do men prefer women with long hair? If women wear their hair up, are they treated differently than women who wear their hair down?

We would like to work with your institution and the appropriate department to implement this study as part of the spring or summer curriculum. If The University of Western Ontario is interested in conducting this study, we would work closely with the appropriate person to determine the format, length and timing. X will compensate the department for the study.

Following the study, we would like to make a joint announce with the University regarding the results of this study via a comprehensive consumer awareness campaign, which we would like the University's participation in as well. The University's role would be to comment on the study, the results and social implications. X would be identified as the company that commissioned this study.

X is a leading manufacturer of premium beauty care products that are recognized around the world for their innovation and quality. You are likely unfamiliar with the name X, but you are possibly familiar with some of the well-known, loved and trusted products that the company distributes. These products include...(removed)

We would like the opportunity to discuss this opportunity with you in further detail at your earliest convenience. We will contact you next week. In the meantime, if you have any questions or would be able to direct us to the appropriate person/department, please contact me.

Um, okay? Not sure if this would even fit ethics standards, let alone a researcher's. PR for research, okay -- research for PR? Not so sure. I remember a couple of years ago when I received a similar type letter seeking to verify if drinking orange juice in the morning affected your day, but a study of blondes having more fun? Sign me up. And toss in a glass of OJ.