Inspiration for the "Naked Chef"?

From the "This is so, so wrong, yet kind of funny" files, we have the "Cooking in the Nude" cookbook which has made its rounds in the office of late. Not a way in which I want to be picturing my colleagues (sorry, Bob). Once was enough, thanks. As if that wasn't bad enough, it carries the sub-heading of "Quickies". Um, okay. Sumptuous and satisfying. Just watch out for grease fires. Because, you know, that would hurt. I hear. Not to mention difficult to explain at the hospital. All sorts of awkward questions. And prying eyes.

Rather than post the full smorgasbord, I have only included certain 'special' recipes to tempt your palette. Une amuse-bouche, quand meme. While "Suggestive Salad" seems a bit lame, high marks and kudos are given for "Cop a Fillet". Which would certainly be more highly regarded than filleting a Cop. The recipe's title is followed by no less than "...and this won't be your only success tonight!" Yike. Watch out for those foodies and their kinky cutlery! I think they want to do more than 'spoon'.

45 minutes can get you Chicken Porno Bleu. Clever twist on a classic dish and the whole 'blue movie' genre, which the author promises could lead to an 'R' rated evening. Perhaps not if you follow the instruction to "Dip breasts in flour, then in egg, then roll in crumbs." And certainly not if you follow the instruction to "cover breasts with wax paper and flatten breasts with mallet (1/4" thick)."

Or, for the adventurous, dessert-minded crowd, we have "Fondue me, please!" (Note author's emphasis on the exclamation mark rather than a question!). The last line of instructions: "Keep hot."


Interestingly, all of these recipes call for booze. Funny enough as well, this book recently shared a desk with a book called "How to dump a guy". Nothing like having both ends of the relationship covered like...um, bookends. This one could certainly handle the "How to entice a guy". Until you wield a chopping knife a little too freely. And with too much purpose. Julian, not julienned, thanks.